It has been a hectic week. I’ve had strange phone calls, chance meetings, disturbing arguments and a variety of other things that jumped at me out of nowhere. However, everything that happened had a recurring theme. Our choices, no matter whether they’re good or bad, determine the progression of our lives.
A few nights ago I spoke with a friend who I had lost touch with, but recently found again. This person seems too afraid of making a choice that could lead to a better life because she fears failure. Instead of taking a chance and enjoying herself, she hides behind a mask and believes that all of the demons will just pick up and move on. I tried explaining to her that we have to find peace in our past before the bad parts can subside and find a permanent hiding place. We can’t avoid good things because we’re afraid of something that happened in the past will happen again. If we take the proper precautions and slowly put one foot in front of the other, things will work out as they’re supposed to. Nobody has a crystal ball, but we can control the way we treat people, which in turn will help us. We can’t control what they do in return, but we must be smart enough to notice a problem quickly and avoid any pitfalls that might present larger problems over time.
I walked on hot coals for a long time. I was never sure what to say or how to act. It became almost robotic. I constantly thought about how I should respond to certain questions or how I should act in different situations. I felt as if I couldn’t do anything right. Now, instead of being afraid I’ve learned that I have to just be myself and hope that’s enough. If what we have to offer another person isn’t enough, then we must learn that it’s ok. We come across many people in our lives that play a variety of roles. Each and every person that we are in contact with helps us to grow. If we refuse to grow, then we lose a small part of what we have inside. Once the rut starts it becomes extremely hard to break away from. One day leads to the next and before you know it years have passed.
As the conversation came to a close I encouraged my friend to stop living in the past. She has so much negativity encompassing her daily thoughts that it almost paralyzes any hope that might accidentally show up in her life. I feel bad for her, but I know it’s a battle that she must face on her own. I’m far from perfect and I have many of my own issues to deal with, so I can’t give anything other than my support and encouragement just as I would want in return.
I experienced and emotional punch in the gut last night. This time it was with a family member. I’m sure that you can all relate when someone in your family needs you and you feel like you can’t do a thing. You want to reach out and pull them in, but they put up an emotional barricade that is almost impassable. I did my best to listen and give advice without being judgmental. This person knows he isn’t making good decisions and it’s affecting his life in all areas. He feels as if he’s losing his mind, but he’s holding on with all his might. I’ve been there. I can relate to the pain and adversity that he’s fighting on a daily basis. I couldn’t offer anything other than the fact that I’m living proof, that if you keep your nose to the ground, you can and will come out the other side. I tried explaining that it’s ok to make bad choices. However, last night he could make a good choice and change everything around. It only takes one good choice to start a streak. Once the streak starts it can go a long way before an indecisive moment might lead to, at that time, a bad choice for once.
No matter how many negatives I come across I always try to find a bit of good somewhere. After all, we only need a few apples to make an apple pie or two dogs to make a happy family of 8. We have to accept the bad things that we bump into. We can’t get consumed by them by accepting them. Rather, we move forward on our journey through life and hit the flies with the fly-swatter and slap the mosquitos off from our face as they drill for blood. We all go down different paths, but when we decide where we’re going to go it is ultimately our own choice that leads us to where we’ll end up.
The sun always comes out after the rain. It might rain for days on end, but the sun will return. That’s the beauty of life. Our enjoyment always follows our pain and our pain disappears through our pleasure. Decide what you like and pursue that because in the end that will be all that matters. That’s the best choice you’ll ever make. Like what you do and do what you like.
Todd,
This was SO inciteful and so accurate all at the same time. Perfectly put.