The search probably begins when we’re old enough to have conscious thoughts in our head. For some people the search is much easier than others, but no matter what all searches endure hard times and tough roads.
I’ve been lucky in my search. When I was a child I learned how to express all of my emotions. I learned that it was ok to cry when I was sad. I learned that it was ok to be angry as long as I addressed it and let it go after further examination. I learned that it was ok to let even the smallest things bring joy into my world. My parents gave me all of the essential tools that I would need in the future. I learned at a very young age that happiness comes from within. I spent a lot of time alone when I was little. I found msyelf wandering up and down the creek across the road with a fishing pole in hand. The solitude of the forest always welcomed me. I can remember many summer afternoons that I sat on the bank and stared into the water. I wasn’t hoping to see anything. Rather, I was trying to collect my inner thoughts. It was always a place where I could go and get to know myself in a different way. School and sports helped me get to know myself in other ways, but the days I spent staring into the water are what made me who I am inside. I picked up great inner strength as well as finding the necessary things to center my mind and be at peace. There was never any confusion or chaotic moments that I had to deal with. I gave myself the greatest opportunity that any adolescent could ever ask for. I gave myself the ability to find out who I was.
Now, as an adult I’ll be forever thankful that I was blessed with a passion for fishing. One of the girls who lived next door used to make fun of me and continued doing so well into my adulthood. I never said much about it, but I laughed and joked back and forth because it was all in good fun. However, deep inside, I knew how much strength I had gained back then. I would eventually need that strength to get through one of the toughest times of my life. I was able to go back there and center my mind. I was able to understand that I couldn’t control that particular part of my life. I didn’t have a choice, so I sat back and took it on the chin. Since I had always been able to find even tiny pieces of positive things, I quickly realized that in the end of the struggling I would be stronger and calmer at the center. I would also have a new chance at happiness.
I’ve always known that happiness doesn’t come through other people. I never got lost in that, as some people do when their lives take unexpected turns. I remembered that I was and always would be responsible for my own happiness. I’ve seen friends find happiness in others when they didn’t have anyplace to go. Inside I knew that the outcome wouldn’t be good. In order to be truly happy you have to be happy with yourself first and foremost. If you can’t address that and be comfortable with it you will ultimately be let down. I’ve seen some people bounce from one person to the next while never settling down and accepting that being alone is ok. The alone time is when you find out what you really need to be happy. You examine it objectively and try to pave your own path for the future.
I’m at a point right now where I can say that I’m not exactly happy with everything, but I am happy with myself. I would like many things to be different, but I’m not going to change myself or my actions just to search for something that I feel I need to manufacture. My life has taken many turns that I never expected, but I don’t let these things get me down. Over the course of my life I will never close myself off from learning and trying to better myself in a mental aspect.
There are many things that I’ve been searching for, but I haven’t located them yet. Yes, it has been very depressing at times. However, the journey has also been fun. I’ve met many new people in all aspects of life. I’ve learned more about myself through my interaction with these people. Most importantly I have learned what brings out the very best in me. I don’t think I can actually describe what it is, but I now have a much better idea about it. This was something I never even thought about until I saw it happen. The feeling was so new to me that I couldn’t even relate to where it was coming from. It was almost like I was standing outside of my body and looking at the soul of someone that I had never known. It was an unbelievable feeling and I hope to one day experiece this on a regular basis, rather than in passing.
I’m really not sure if I’ll ever find what everyone else terms as “happiness”, but I’ll do my best to find the things that bring me the most joy. If I ever find what I’m looking for I will make sure to grab hold and hang on for dear life. I’ve seen too many times where people have what they’ve been looking for right in front of them, but they’re too afraid to run with it. Many people are too afraid to be happy when a chance presents itself. I think this happens because the person doesn’t trust what their soul is telling them. They’re not at peace with their past or their future, so they sabotage the best things that are often right there in their lap. They alienate people and end up alone because they won’t let others in to help them along the way. There’s a fine line though, because as I said earlier, many people solely rely on another to bring them happiness 100% of the time, which just isn’t possible.
In your search for happiness learn to love yourself first and stop blaming others for your problems. We must remember that we are eventually responsible for all of our own actions. Treat people as you want to be treated and listen to others when they speak. Don’t just listen, you must also show interest. Help others find happiness by showing them a better way. Try to welcome people into your life, rather than run in fear. No matter what happens we all learn from our experiences. We will screw up from time to time, but we will also succeed. Some of the greatest things are passed on because we don’t trust ourselves enough to let people inside to see the real us. Be confident that the real you is more than anyone would ever want and don’t be afraid to lay it all on the table. You’ll be better for it in the end and the growth will be a vital part to the success in all of your relationships. I wish you all luck in finding happiness this spring. With spring comes new growth and opportunity. Don’t pass up a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones.