Mother’s Day

Today is a funny day for me. Mother’s Day is a wonderful day where many of us are able to celebrate our own existence by thanking our mothers for bringing us into the world. I’ve thought about a variety of things over the past week. When I woke up this morning I didn’t feel the best. A few complications from diabetes as well as battling some allergies has me feeling under the weather.

My mother has always been the most positive person in my life. I’ve never heard her say anything negative about anyone even when she very easily could have. She tries excusing everyone for their actions. If there’s no positive to be found by anyone else, she will find it. I think I’m lucky because I tend to follow her lead. I’ve had people walk all over me in different periods of my life, but I always forgave and moved forward. I perceived their actions as things they had to do in order to find their own way. There’s no reason to point a finger and lay blame.

Lately my mother has asked me on a daily basis if I’m ok. I guess to her I can’t hide anything. I am ok, but I’ve also been battling a few internal demons that like to create havoc in my mind. I always assure her that I’m ok and she lets it go at that. She knows that I don’t need anything more than her concern. When things become too chaotic in my mind I seek her out and talk about things. I know where to go when I need someone to listen and she accepts that.

It has been a long time since I’ve had a quiet mind. A quiet mind is something that I long for. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reasons are beyond my reach. I search for the answers, but in reality I know that I will probably never find them.

On Friday night I went to a friend’s house and watched the “Ghost Whisperer” or I think that’s what it was called. It’s a weekly network show. The woman in the show can see ghosts and talk to them. As we watched the show I could feel the chills run through my body. It was a strange sensation. After I watched the show I wondered to myself if anyone actually has the ability to communicate with ghosts. I do believe in ghosts and lost souls. I think it would be a wonderful power to have. As I laid on the couch near the end of the show it was kind of sad. Every show ends with a lesson and the lesson usually hits home. The writers for the show deserve a lot of credit. Of course I picked on my friend about her choice of shows to watch, but it was just me being an ass and trying to get a laugh. It’s odd, but I was at peace when I laid there. It’s one of the few places that I can go where my mind isn’t a jumbled mess. My mind is able to relax and think of nothing except the moment that I’m living in.

Life is becoming a little confusing right now. I look into the future and all I see are huge decisions that will affect the rest of my life. It’s so hard not to get too far ahead but I try my hardest to remain in the moment and let my feet carry me where they will. I never offer my opinion to others unless they ask for it. Sometimes I would like to offer some constructive criticism here and there but I know that it’s best to remain quiet and let their actions show them the way. I wish I had a special power to help people do things that would make their lives a little better. Although my life isn’t the the best, I think I could help guide people in the right direction if they were willing to accept the help. It’s just a far off crazy thought, but I think it would be neat to see people become the best version of themselves that is possible. Far too many people do things that aren’t good for them when better things are right in their line of sight. I’m probably guilty of the same thing. I think the people that suffer the most are the ones that know they’re not helping themselves. They know what they want and what they have to do to get there, but they just can’t find the path to lead them. It’s strange, but I’ve seen it many times along the way.

I’m starting to get off on a tangent. When I started this I thought I wanted to write, but  I realized that I don’t have it in me today. I just wanted to tell everyone how thankful I am for having the mother that I have. She is the most wonderful person in the world and I’m glad that I came from her. I encourage all the women out there to pay attention to how the male in your life treats his mother. If he treats his mother well and respects her, he will most likely treat you the same way. It’s not a sure thing, but the odds are in your favor. A close relationship between a mother and a son will almost always translate to a man and his significant other, providing all of the other essential things are in the relationship.

No matter how old you are, you are always your mother’s child. Here I am at the doorstep of 40 and I still feel like I’m 10. I appreciate that and I will be forever thankful that she still acts that way. I try to treat everyone as my mother treats me because you never know how far your presence will carry on when you’re not there. If I ever gave any of myself to any of you then you surely know that it came from my mother.  I love you mom and thank you for making me who I am. It feels good to hear people say that I’m a good person because I know that trait comes from you.

One Response to “Mother’s Day”

  1. Stephanie says:

    Very nice Todd… you’re Mom will appreciate this.

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