The last week was filled with all sorts of things that made me retrace my footsteps. Yesterday probably topped it off. I didn’t have any ambition so I stayed in bed later than I should have. When my phone beeped I looked at the text and realized that I should probably roll out of bed and get started.
I made plans to go for a walk later in the day so I decided to get all of the small things done before I ventured out for the afternoon. I was able to work on some of my archery stuff and set up a bow to give a lesson with. It has been a long time since I’ve taught a beginner how to shoot a bow. It’s amazing how we sometimes take things for granted when we become accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. When I start with the basics I lose focus because it has been so long since I was at that stage. However I still enjoy it because I can see the excitement in the eyes of the person I’m teaching. It brings a feeling to me that is all but unexplainable
Anyhow, the rest of the morning passed quickly and before I knew it I was on my way up the long and winding dirt road that would eventually lead me to my destination. Originally I wanted to climb Shelving Rock Mountain, but since my time was limited I decided to walk down to the waterfall instead.
Although I had been there within the last few years, this trip was different. My mind was in a much more peaceful place than the last time I found myself there. My life has turned around for the better. The last time I was there I felt like I was staring into the bowels of hell as I glanced into the pool of water at the bottom of the falls. This time I saw the water as something totally different. I realized that every drop of water that splashed off the rocks below was on a journey, a journey just like the one I have been on. Each drop of water takes its own route as it travels toward it’s final destination. No two drops of water share the same journey from start to finish. This is very much like humans.
A while back I got tossed into the roughest, raging river that anyone could imagine. I took a lashing as I was thrown against boulders, pulled into eddies and thrown high into the air as I fell into deep chasms along the way. However, I just went with the flow because I knew that I would end up wherever the current brought me. I knew that it was all part of the plan. As I stood on top of the falls and gazed into the water below I almost instantly realized that I had indeed survived some of the roughest waters that I would probably ever travel. I was happy to see that I ended up in a far superior place and I was once again close to being calm at the center.
There were times where I thought I lost that peace and quiet of the inner mind, but in reality that is probably what brought me to where I am now. Somehow I found the strength to put one foot in front of the other and push forward. As with everyone, I had no idea where my life would end up, but as the first few weeks of spring have brought new life, I have also seen a change in my mental state.
After checking out the falls I continued down to the bridge at the bottom of the hill and sat down to dangle my feet above the water and take it all in. A bat flew around above the water as if to show me that the evil that had been such a big part of my world was gone. It was flying away in the daylight right in front of me. Then, as quickly as he appeared he was gone. The dirty little creature, although cute, left me there to gaze across the lake and listen to everything my friend had to offer.
As the minutes passed by I realized how lucky I am to be alive and to be relatively healthy. I never realized how fortunate I really am, until I hear of some of the battles that those closest to me face. Although some of the illnesses are extremely serious I always look at them as beatable. I try to show my positive nature and I hope that it radiates into my friends when I tell them that everything will be ok. I’m a fighter by nature and I would fight until I had no fight left in me. That’s what I had to do just to get to the point that I’m at now. I’m ready to move forward, create new dreams and enjoy new experiences that I never before thought were possible.
The conversation lasted for a good half hour or more and the air began to chill. We decided to trek back to the truck and head home. In many ways I felt very much at peace. I’m not sure if it was the waterfall, the calm lake, the ducks and goose that we saw or if it was just the walk in the forest that did it. I will never be sure, but I knew it was something I needed just to assure me that I was on the right path.
I’m looking forward to summer and many more adventures where I can be outside and witness the beauty of nature. I would like to see a beautiful sunrise over a lake someplace this summer just so I can have an understanding that he has spoken and it’s time to start again. The sun is just like life. There are times where it comes up and times where it goes down. However, it’s all the times in between that define who we are and where we’re going. If we can find something to make us happy when things are gloomy and gray we will always have sunshine in our life. It will illuminate us and people will feel it and draw from it.
As I drove home on the winding road I occasionally glanced out the window and addressed a few of my passing thoughts. For some reason one thing kept going through my head. It was a saying that I heard a long time ago, but not until recently did I ever truly understand it. I’ve heard many people say “Well I just don’t love him (or her) anymore.” As I looked at all of the beauty around me the quote finally stuck. “Love is not something that we feel. It’s something that we choose to do.”
I suddenly realized that love is easy to give to anyone. I’ve heard many people criticize others for saying that they love someone too quickly. I finally realized that there’s no time frame to that with anyone. If you choose to give someone the best of what you have inside then you have chosen to give them your love. It’s easy because it’s not a feeling. Sometimes people get overwhelmed with their feelings, rather than analayzing the entire situation. Any of us can love multiple people, but no matter who we are we all have to make that choice.
I’m glad I went for my excursion the other day because I have a much better idea of where I’m going and what I’m doing. I try not to get overly involved with feelings. Rather, I try to give the best of what is inside of me and in return I hope that others recognize that and do the same for me. There’s nothing more in life that anyone can ask. My parents have always chosen to love me. It’s not a feeling they have, but it’s a choice. I wish I had my own children to do the same with, but for now I’ll practice with the people that come into my life as I move forward.
Remember we’re all like a raindrop and we will ultimately all end up in the same place. It’s our choice where the river will lead us. Go with the flow, take the rough patches and rest easily when you hit the beach.