The last four days have been a blur. My archery performance has been on a steady decline for the last few weeks. My mind is far from quiet while shooting which has hindered any chance I might have of doing well. It hasn’t been a constant thought as I am sometimes possessed with. Instead, it’s random thoughts that pass through my mind so fast that I can’t even latch on and settle them in for further examination.
This weekend was tough for me. I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with deteriorating disc disease. It makes me wonder sometimes why bad things happen to good people. I live every day with diabetes but I consider myself lucky because it doesn’t stop me from doing anything. However, my poor friend couldn’t move her arm and wasn’t able to sleep for 3 straight days because of the pain. As I sat with her on Friday evening I got a new admiration for her. She never winced in pain or complained about it. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like, but I know it was extremely uncomfortable. I’ve always been the type of person who thinks I can heal anyone. As I sat there watching TV I felt helpless for once in my life. I would have done something if I could have, but I knew that it was beyond my power. The pain lessened the next few days, but it’s something that will probably come and go for the rest of her life. She’s an amazing person. She can look the lion in the mouth, smile and say, “I’ll be ok.”
This same person has overcome things in the past few years that most people wouldn’t even attempt to tackle. She has had panic/anxiety disorder and after years of suffering she finally decided she would make an effort to grab it by the neck, throw it to the ground and move forward. Many people probably would have lived in fear for the rest of their lives. However, she wanted to better herself and she took the steps necessary to do that. She lives a quiet life, but a good life. Whenever I think of the small battles that I face every day I visualize the things that she has overcome. It gives me the little extra drive that I need.
As I watched her suffer over the course of the weekend it wore me out. I wasn’t well rested and I became ill. I could feel a cold settling in on Sunday afternoon when a friend of mine called. Once again, someone fighting a battle within. I did my best to listen as closely as possible. There were a few work related problems as well as family issues. As always I remained non-judgmental and offered my advice when it was quiet. I’ve often wondered why people like talking to me when they’re stressed out. Maybe it’s because I’m funny looking so it allows them to lighten up a little. Maybe it’s because I’m intent on just sitting back and listening. I’ll never know what the real reason is, but it’s good to feel wanted in that way.
When Monday finally rolled around I was too ill to go to work. I never miss work so I knew it was bad when I couldn’t find a way to get to the office. I felt like someone beat me with a baseball bat. My lower back felt like it was going to explode and I was simply worn out. As I laid around all day and tried to come to life I got a disturbing message. The message told me that some bad stuff was going to go down within the next few days. I’m glad I was notified, because today when it hit the press it made it a little easier to deal with. Many people asked how I felt about it, but I really didn’t have much feeling. I feel very sad, but it doesn’t really affect me. I’m sure I will be pelted with many questions tomorrow and I’ll answer all of them the same. I think the whole thing will be blown out of proportion. Somone who was once close to me had charges brought against them. It just saddens me that it happened. I would never wish evil upon anyone, no matter who they are or what they have done. As with my other friends who I’ve watched suffer the last few days, I’m sure this person is also suffering now. This is where I know that a strong support group is essential.
We all need to surround ourselves with people that boost our confidence and forgive us when we make mistakes. Nobody is perfect and everyone runs into problems on their journey through life. I’ve been one of the most fortunate people in this area. I’ve done some stupid things in my time and my mom and dad both let me do them without saying a word. They knew I was making the wrong decision, but they never said a word. When it came back to haunt me all they did was give me their undying support. They never said a word about my hasty decision(s). I knew inside that I was wrong, but they didn’t add pleasure to my pain. They knew that I had learned from my lesson. They also knew that I needed their support more than anything. I’ve learned from them and I’m very proud of that. That’s why I try to give to everyone around me. You simply never know when you might need people to help you. I try to treat people with respect and dignity and I will never turn my back on anyone. I consider that one of my best qualities. I think it’s easier to work toward a common goal than it is to create new obstacles.
Unfortunate things happen to all sorts of people. In the end the only thing that matters is the way the crisis is handled. Some people will come out better and stronger and others will come out weaker and demoralized. If you see somone suffering always make sure to lend your hand, ear or heart. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get someone to a better place. You never know how far your act of kindness and support will go. Even if the person doesn’t accept your offer they will surely feel it in their heart. It will give them confidence that there is always at least one person that they can go to when times are tough. I try to be available to others when they need me because I know that when I needed people the most I was glad that I was welcomed with open arms in each and every place that I searched for help in my darkest hours. I would like to thank each and every one of you that gave to me when I needed it the most.
It’s the sad and hard times that bring so much light and joy to the good times. You cant have one without the other else every day be gray. Pursue the things that bring you happiness in all areas of life. It’s too damn precious not to.