Archive for September 26th, 2012

Positive Influences in Our Lives

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

I hope everyone took the time to watch the video posted above since that’s what I’ll be discussing tonight. If you haven’t opened it up please watch it so you’ll have a better idea about the things I refer to.

A friend forwarded this video to me a few weeks ago. As with anything I watch I didn’t know what to expect, so I sat back and let it unfold in front of me. Everything affects people in different ways so I like to give my undivided attention to these things so I can continue learning things about myself as well as others.

As I watched it was pretty obvious how nervous the man was about his audition, but at the same time he had to have quite a bit of self confidence in order to give it a shot in front of the judges and huge crowd.

There were many things I saw throughout the video that got me thinking about different people in my life over the years and some of the obstacles a few of them have been confronted with. Everyone faces their problems differently. Some of them ignore everything, some of them get angry, some of them build walls and hide behind them, some of them let their past control them and others let negativity creep in and find a place to live.

Christopher Maloney had been told he wasn’t good enough. At 34 he has probably been told so many times that he began to believe it. Just as we have friends and family members who offer their never-ending support, so did he.

No matter what the crisis we are faced with each and every one of us have at least a few people who believe in us. When it feels like the world is caving in around us and sucking us into a black hole it’s these people we have to turn to and allow them to carry us to a better place. Without these people our world would be a much darker place. I have a very dear friend who has called me many times when she was in the bottom of the barrel. Months may have passed between calls but she knows she can count on me when she has lost hope. I’m extremely thankful for this friendship because over the last 20 years it has helped me in ways that are unexplainable to others. We’ve always had a mutual give and take relationship where one hand has always washed the other.

Through our conversations I’ve learned that a lot of doubt has filled her head and some of the criticism she has dealt with over the years has all about destroyed her self-confidence. After her trust had been shattered she wallowed around in self pity for quite a few years.  I always tried boosting her confidence but often felt like I had failed miserably after I hung up the phone. We’ve shared a few tears on our journeys and we’ve also shared many laughs.

One night I asked her if she would ever trust anyone again or if she did trust anyone. Her response almost made me hit my knees. What she said caught me off guard and startled me so I didn’t have a response. We’ve always  been the best of friends even if we went extended periods of time without talking. We can pick up the phone and it’s like it was yesterday when we last spoke. Well when I asked the question she responded, “Yes, I trust my mom, my dad, and you.”

When I watched the video that comment came back to me as I saw the judges faces when he started to sing. The judges were truly amazed. They never expected the sound and energy that sprang from his lips. He took them by surprise and continued on without even knowing what he had done. It made me realize that sometimes people amaze others without even knowing it. I guess I never realized how she saw me in her life or where I fit in. Although she couldn’t see me or hear it in my voice a few tears rolled from the corner of my eyes and dripped into my mouth. I had made a difference in her life, which although insignificant to some people, it was very rewarding to me. I smile every time I think about the comment just as I smiled when I saw the look on the judges faces.

I also liked the fact that Christopher Maloney finally decided to take a chance. If he failed he failed, but the greatest failure is not taking the chance at all. Dreams remain dreams if we don’t take calculated risks and risks lead to rewards. Dreams come true when we allow ourselves to step outside the box and get away from our comfortable surroundings. Something or somebody could be waiting so incredibly close to you but if you are blinded to the good things about people because of past insults and hurt you’ll never find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

This video was very uplifting to me as I hope it has been to you. Lately my dearest friend of the last 20 years has been making huge strides forward. I watched  her walk through hell in the hallway for the last 10 years, and at times,  even when I had all but lost hope, I tried to be a positive influence just as Christopher Maloney’s nan was to him. You just never know what you can do for another person if you remain strong and give them hope.

Amazing things can happen if you don’t listen to the criticism of others. Use it as motivation to get to a better place. Take it in your own hands to do the things that make you happy and give as you receive. Although there were many days when I felt like I was beating my head against the wall while giving friendly advice I couldn’t be happier to see where my friend is  now. What a pleasant surprise. It’s so refreshing and rewarding to have been a small part of the journey to a better place. As I always tell her…………….better, much better days ahead. Those horribly sad and lonely nights are quickly disappearing in the rear-view mirror.