The last week has brought up a variety of feelings for me. It never ceases to amaze me how things happen that are beyond explanation. Something small happens which leads to something else which brings you to a place you never imagined. Well I had exactly that happen over the course of the last week.
On Sunday afternoon I had a minor malfunction with one of my bows. It was no big deal, as accidents happen. However it led me to change a few things in my schedule and pick up a few of my prescriptions on a day that I don’t normally go to the pharmacy. After I left the pharmacy I received a text message on my phone which I found to be a little peculiar. I opened it and exhanged a few back and forth.
Later that night I made a new friend and began conversing on a regular basis. As one day rolled into the next I made my new friend aware of the fact that I always offered rides to all of my friends who go out drinking, so they don’t have to drive home. I never figured this person would call for a ride, but she did. This is where the story becomes pretty intense and deep. I was honored that she called for a ride because I like to know that I made a difference when I told her to feel free to call me. I also figured she was putting her trust in me to get her home safely. As we drove out of Glens Falls toward Queensbury I had many thoughts of my childhood crossing through my mind. Well, I actually only had one thought and as I got closer to her house the feeling inside me got stronger and stronger.
As she told me where to turn my mind instantly raced back to when I was 10 years old. I drove up the same dead end road with my grandfather when I was a little guy. We went there in search of a blueberry plant to dig up and bring home. Before I started down the road the whole scene appeared in my head. I could remember getting out of the truck with my grandfather and walking a short ways into the woods. There weren’t any houses around there 30 years ago, but I still remember exactly where we parked. I’ll never know for sure why I remember it, but I do. As I crested the hill she told me that her driveway was at the bottom of the hill. The feeling was getting stronger and stronger as I neared her house. When I pulled in the driveway I could almost feel my grandfather with me for the first time in 28 years. I didn’t tell her when I dropped her off, but her house is within sight of where we dug the plant up all those years ago. After I turned around in her driveway and headed home I was overwhelmed with emotions.
I felt as if my grandfather had something to do with the odd circumstances behind me meeting her. It was like he made me meet her so I could go back to the place where we dug that plant up so long ago. I’m not sure why, but it felt as if he brought me there for a reason. I’m not sure what the reason is, but I’ll keep searching. It may be because my grandmother isn’t well right now. I”m not sure if it was his way of telling me something or if he was crying out for something. I know to most people I probably sound like a fruitcake right now, but I’m positive there is a much deeper meaning to all of this happening than anyone will ever know.
A few days later I started thinking about it again. I remembered a time in my early 20’s when I visited his grave. I was 23 years old to be exact. I remember it so vividly because a friend of mine at the time was visiting her father’s grave in the same cemetery. In order to give her time to herself I went to say a few prayers under the big pine tree where my grandfather’s grave is. I remember that I was 23 because I was caught in a peculiar place. I knew what I wanted in life, but I didn’t know how to get there. In some ways I felt like the world was closing in on me so I went there to talk to him that day. I’m not sure if he gave me the answer, but a short time later my life started taking shape and I ended up where I pictured myself that day.
Being 23 is also very significant in this ordeal because the girl I dropped off is 23. The numbers are almost mind boggling. Although I tried not paying attention it keeps slapping me in the side of the head. I asked her in conversation when her birthday was and she told me that it was on July 30. I almost dropped my drink when she responded. Of all days in the year her birthday was the day after mine. It began getting a little creepy for me at that point. Something inside me tells me there’s a very deep meaning behind all of this. There are too many coincidental things that all lined up. Yes, I may be making more of it than what it is. I’ll never be sure, but when they say that things happen for a reason I truly believe it.
It may take days, months or even years to figure things out, but eventually it all makes sense. I’m not sure what my grandfather is tryng to tell me, but I know that he has spoken. I probably sound like a loon right now and I don’t really believe in all of that jazz, but when I drove down the road that night and dropped her off, the feelings that came over me were too strong to walk away from. I’m not overly religious, but I am very spiritual. I felt as if his spirit was above me that night. I’m not really sure if he was trying to help me remember the past, look into the future or just understand that there was a deeper meaning than a simple ride home for a new found friend.
I’ll continue putting one foot in front of the other as I let the events take place in front of me. Since I can’t control what happened in the past or worry about what will happen in the future, I will try my hardest to live in the moment. I will take everything for what it is without putting too much thought into it. Although things seem extremely strange and almost surreal I will try to remember that everything, no matter what it is, happens for a reason.
Sometimes things like this can make even the most courageous man want to crawl under a rock and hide, but I’m going to open my arms and welcome whatever falls into them. It might be death. It might be rebirth. It could even be something that I don’t have a clue about yet. Whatever it is, I’m sure that I’ll find the answer that I’m so desperately searching for.