Todd Mead's Blog

Well, here I sit reflecting on the last year. I have a range of emotions to deal with, but first and foremost I feel very fortunate to be alive. Sometimes we are confronted with a gentle reminder that we are not immortal. In early October, after my doctor called me at work, I instantly realized how quickly one’s life can change. Although I’ve always known it, the feeling was much different when I received the phone call that I had serious issues that needed to be addressed.

Before my surgery a week and a half ago I didn’t know what to expect. I’m pretty sure that most of my friends and family were more worried than I was. As I’ve always told everyone, I feel like I’ve lived a very complete life. I’ve accomplished things in life that I set out to accomplish when I was much younger and I’ve done the things I’ve always dreamed of doing.

When I received the phone call from the surgeon last Wednesday evening my family was very relieved to find out the tumor the surgeon removed was not cancerous. The operation took longer than anticipated and the battle scar I have from it is impressive to some people. I guess it was only to be expected after removing something the size of a baseball. I’m beginning to feel better by the day, so hopefully I won’t have to walk with a limp for very long. If it’s permanent I can still be thankful that in general terms I’m “okay.”

I’m not sure what’s in store for the coming year. It appears that there might be a few more surgeries, but I’ll tackle them as they come. I can’t think that far ahead right now because each day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

Since I’m laid up and can’t do much I’m sitting home tonight by myself. My dog Theo (who’s health has been failing rapidly lately) is lying on the floor next to me. I love that dog. It makes me sad to see him sleeping. I’m pretty sure he won’t be with me at this time next year, but like me he has lived a pretty good life. I hope I’ve given him a quarter of the joy and happiness he has given to me.

They’re doing the top 40 musical performances of New Year’s Eve on the Dick Clark show on TV right now. I couldn’t help but smile when they did one from 1998. It seems so long ago, but it was only 13 years ago. That was the night I finally got married. As a kid growing up I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be married. After I settled into the working world when I graduated from college I met up with a very dear childhood friend of mine who I had lost touch with while I was away at college. Somehow we became close, as we had been growing up, and it seemed destined to happen.

Although she might see it differently, I always tried to be there for her as a friend when she needed me. On New Year’s Eve in 1995 she called for a ride home. Since I don’t drink and I never really went out I told her I would come get her to make sure she got home safely. It was 2 0’clock in the morning, but I didn’t mind at all because she was always close to me. She had a special place in my heart. Three years later on New Year’s Eve we got married.  Yeah, in some ways it was like a fairy tale. Go through school, go away to college, meet up with the girl next door who you grew up with, get married and fade of into the sunset.

Well, as years passed the fairy tale didn’t quite end that way and we went in our own directions. Many people like to blame the other person. I’m not that type and I would never do that. After all, it takes two for everything to happen. I’ve always accepted my blame and I’ve tried learning from the experience. I do feel bad at times because I know I probably wasn’t the best person in the world, but in the end I also know that I did try, but it wasn’t meant to be.

As I sit here tonight I think about a quote I came across in the summer. It reads something like this: I will never regret love. No matter how blind it improved my world. No matter how foolish it made me wiser. And no matter how generous it made me more.

We learn from each experience. Some of us are lucky enough to love many people in our lives and a few of us love only a few. No matter what the circumstance, the experience makes us whole. If we don’t learn from our mistakes and grow from them we’ll keep repeating them. Right now I’m quite content with my life. In some ways I feel very much like I did while I was growing up. I would never say I will never get married again, but at the present time it’s not anything I really think about. If it happens it happens. I’m sure it would probably be good for me, but I don’t feel like it’s something I need to validate myself or make myself feel complete. I’m sure a few of you can understand what I’m saying.

Since we’re going into a new year beginning tomorrow I’m going to try to simplify my life. I’m going to try to follow a few simple rules from a quote I read today. As you can see, I’m a quote kind of person. Quotes give me direction and challenge me to think about different things from different perspectives.

Here it is: Always know when to let go. When a thought is bringing you more misery than peace, let go of the thought; when a person is bringing you more pain than joy to your life, let go…You cannot be your best if you lack joy and peace.

It sounds simple, but I’ve always struggled a little bit with this type of thing. Many times I’ve found myself lost in thought. No matter what I do I hold on to nagging thoughts. I’m going to try to dismiss them as they come this year. Once we engage the thought it takes a life of its own. I’ll try my best to steer away from that this year. I’m also going to try to avoid any type of drama that other people bring into my life. I’ll still lend my hand and ears to the people who need me, but I will not let them control my actions.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year. Hopefully these health issues will find a backseat for a while. However, if I’m confronted with more unsettling news I’ll face it as I’ve faced the other hurdles in my life. I’ll keep my head down, run fast and leap as far and high as I can. I’m bound to catch and ankle now and then, but I’ll finish the race if I don’t fall face first when my balance is suddenly knocked out from under me.

This night 13 years ago was memorable for me. I got to spend it with all of my closest friends and family. Really…………..what more could I ever ask for? I learned from that relationship and have grown in many ways. Tonight is a lot like that night. I’m just thankful to be alive, surrounded by my friends and family. Some things are meant to be and some aren’t. I’m just glad that I was meant to live in 2012 because a few months ago I’m sure a few people were quite worried about that.

I feel great about the upcoming year. I’ll be at a lot of book signings, outdoor shows, author fairs and many other things. I feel like the sky is the limit now. I’ll keep pushing forward, experience new things, meet new people and just enjoy my life to the fullest. It’s good to be internally happy. It really, really is. God bless, good night and Happy New Year!!!

T.

Since my surgery had to be postponed I’ll be joining Dan Ladd and Steve Sawn for a book signing at Crossroads Country Store in Chestertown, NY this Saturday. I’ll have my new book as well as my old one. Stop in and say hello.

The last month has been more stressful than I would have liked. It basically seems like nothing has gone quite right. I’m sure my luck is bound to change sometime soon.

I haven’t written much at all over the last year. I’ve been too busy with my new book and many other things that have taken the majority of my time. Hopefully now that the book came out yesterday I’ll be able to get back into some type of routine with my writing. I’ve been tossing a lot of ideas around already about another book. I would like to do one filled with funny outdoor stories. It would be a book that made you laugh out loud as you read it. It would be the type of stories that you share around a campfire with your friends and family. It would be something like the more you drink the harder you laugh. In the book the more you read the more you will laugh.

I’ve also considered writing a book with the same format as the first two books, but it would be about my adventures in elk country. I’m not sure how that would go because I don’t have any digital pictures at all from elk hunting so the picture quality wouldn’t be too terribly good.

I’ve tossed around the idea of writing about hunting in the Midwest. It would follow the same type of format as the first two books, but I would make a lot of time for different people we’ve met across the country and how they do things.

As you all probably know my ultimate goal is to write a novel. It’s just something I want to do. I want to create my own piece of work with characters that my readers will come to know and love or hate. I have many ideas about it so I’ll have to see what happens as time goes by.

I should be recovering from surgery tonight. Unfortunately my blood was so out of whack when I arrived at the hospital it was impossible to do the surgery. They rescheduled for next Thursday. I followed the directions I was given although I knew it was probably going to be a disaster. Turns out I was right. It wasn’t good. In some strange way I felt embarrassed even though I probably shouldn’t have been. I know that stress kills my blood sugar. Even though I don’t feel that I’m being stressed out it shows up in my blood levels. When heavy stress is present my blood goes sky high and doesn’t retreat hardly at all. It’s not a good feeling and I’m helpless when it happens.

This morning made me feel like I was a bad child or something even though I couldn’t really help what happened because I was following the instructions given to me. When we try again next week I was given the okay to follow my regular schedule and do things as I would on any other day. I’ll pray with all my might that it works out.

I’m not looking forward to the surgery, but in other ways I can’t wait to get it done. It’s possible that the pain I’ve felt in my hip for the last twenty years will gradually go away after the mass is removed and I get through my rehab. I’m looking forward to how good it might be when it’s all over. Time will tell. Who knows it could be worse or something really bad could come out of the whole ordeal but no matter what it may lead to I will push forward with a positive attitude and optimism.

In a situation like this it’s a really good feeling when people reach out to you and wish you luck and a safe recovery. It only has to be a few words to make a difference. People have come out of the woodwork to wish me well with the health problems I’m now encountering. I thank each and every one of you for extending your hand to me. I feel truly blessed.

We all have days when we trudge around and wander if we have any meaning in life. It’s times like these that make all those thoughts go away. Trust me when I tell you that many more people care about your well being than you would think possible. It all comes back to treating people well. If you treat people well they will respect you and do the same in return.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life and I mean many. I’ve hurt people along the way even though I didn’t want to. I’ve never felt good about things like that and I never purposely tried to hurt anyone. I’ve learned that this is life and it just happens sometimes. We try our best to tiptoe around things so we don’t rock the boat and in the end we end up hurting ourselves and others. It’s not a good feeling.

That’s why these situations can give us a lot of confidence. I’ve had people I know I hurt in the past wish me luck and they were genuine in the care they showed. I’m glad that some of these people have forgiven me and I’m even luckier that I have my friends and family who extend their arms to me when I need them.

I’ll go to bed tonight and say a simple prayer just because I’m safe. I should have been in a little bit of pain tonight,but I’ll probably be able to rest a little easier since the surgery won’t take place until next week.

I would like to give a simple thank you to everyone out there who is reading this. Thanks for giving my life meaning. It means more than you will ever know even if you don’t hear it come from my lips. Good night and God Bless,

T.

For all of you who come here to follow me I must apologize for not writing much over the last few months. I’ve had a lot of things going on between new found health problems, hunting season and finishing my book.

My book “Backcountry Bucks” should be available by this coming Friday 12/16. Unfortunately, due to my surgery it might be a while before it’s on the shelves. You will be able to pick it up at John’s Outdoor Sports in Queensbury, NY or you can order it off from my website. My webmaster is supposed to be downloading a new order form in the next few days. If for some reason that doesn’t happen please feel free to print out the order form for my first book and specify on the top of it that you want the new one. The cost will be the same.

I’m scheduled for surgery this coming Thursday. Hopefully recovery time won’t be very long and everything will turn out well. As with anything, it’s a little stressful but I try not to let those things bother me. We all know that you can’t control certain things when it comes to your health. However, if you approach the obstacles with a positive attitude it sometimes helps you to overcome tremendous things.

We’ll see what happens. I’m sure I’ll have a few things to write about after I recover. It might be a bit before I can sit in a chair, but I’ll try to write a little bit when I’m able to sit down just so everyone knows how I’m doing. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. I’ll talk to you soon.

T.

I’ve been having a rough time lately. I broke a few ribs which has slowed me down. I wanted to give everyone a heads-up that my new book is just about done. I hope to have it to the printer by November 3. From there I hope it’s printed the first or second week of December. Let’s all cross our fingers. Time is passing too quickly.

I just spent an hour writing what I thought was a really good entry. Unfortunately when I  hit save I accidentally deleted the entire file. That’s the way it seems to be working for me lately. A bit of bad luck has been following me around for a while, but it’s bound to change.

I watched an inspiring video this evening that I will share with you when I’m done writing. The guy in the video has a few physical limitations that make us question ourselves when we start complaining about things.

No matter how we’re born or what happens to us along the way, we are responsible for how we react to the situations we encounter. Some people have a habit of blaming others for all of their problems. This negative energy is easily transferred from one person to another. Sometimes people don’t even realize the energy has encompassed them. They get mad at their friends and family members when things are pointed out that should be addressed. They make excuses for others and turn the other cheek as if to ignore the reality of the problems.

A few people even get so lost in their partner that they begin to adopt the partner’s lifestyle and lose their own identity. The sad part is that most of the time these people don’t even realize what has happened to them.

Fortunately, some people realize it and push forward into new lives. They leave the old behind and regain what had been taken from them. Jealousy can create a lot of problems between lovers. If one partner has a good job and pursues avenues to better themselves the other partner might become jealous because they see themselves as being worthless. They take it out on their partner and show no support. On the other hand,  some other partners sometimes want their mate to keep pushing forward and give them support just so they don’t have to take care of anything. Instead, their partner will achieve better things, which in turn will create more opportunities, so they can sit back and continue benefiting from the success of someone else. It’s a double edged sword.

These people that sit back and live off others are usually not happy with their own lives. They blame their parents, siblings or lovers for everything that’s wrong. These people never take accountability for their own positions. It’s easier to point fingers. These people lack motivation and become leeches.

One of my good friends recently peeled off a blood-sucking leech. Once the leech was gone it was much easier to breathe. Although much of the negativity was never noticed when the leech was attached, it was blatantly obvious how badly it hung in the air once the leech was gone.

The problem for many people is the fear of the unknown. For some reason they can’t see themselves pushing out into the world on their own and taking a leap of faith. Instead, they get stuck in unhealthy routines and days pass into months, which quickly turn into years. Once the time is gone they can’t ever get it back.

As you watch this video try to think of ways you can help yourself to achieve the things you want to achieve. It should become obvious that people can do anything they want to if they put their minds to it. However, we have to watch people that make excuses for everything under the sun such as not being able to get jobs, keep jobs, pay for homes, afford cars, take care of their children and contribute to society. In order to live successful, fulfilling lives we need to try our hardest to avoid these types of people.

In my eyes there are three types of people. The users and abusers, the middle of the road people, and the motivated ones who set goals and achieve them. Which one are you? Which type are you attracted to? Which type is in your life? And, which type do you want to be like and which type is the best for you? These are all questions you have to answer for yourself.

When you watch this video listen closely to everything the man says from start to finish. There are some very powerful messages in his speech. If you don’t get a little choked up I will be surprised. Let me know what you think. If I could model myself after someone, I would surely try to model myself after this man. I hope you enjoy the video. God bless and good night.

Look At Yourself

As I sit here I can hear the rain hitting the ground outside. It has been raining for about the last 24 hours. It has let up a few times, but more than anything it has just been a nuisance.

The long weekend is about done. It is something I’ve needed for awhile. Although I still worked a few hours on Saturday and Sunday it seemed good to get away from the regular grind of having too many things to do in a limited amount of time.

Labor Day has always been the beginning of the fall for me no matter what the calendar says. It makes me realize that I don’t have long to tie up all the loose ends that I’m dealing with.  When the calendar turns over into October I’ll find myself in the woods where I will be able to relax. I’ll go to the woods to sit down in the middle of nowhere and assess the thoughts that come and go through my mind. I might give a few of them more attention than others, but in the end I’ll pay attention to anything that makes its way into my conscious thoughts.

It will be a time when I can be all alone. I’ll walk under the moonlit sky on my way into the woods in the morning and my feet will glide across the forest floor when I make my way back to the truck after the sun sets behind the mountains. I’ve made this a way of life for the last 30 years. I don’t know anything different and I’m not sure I would really like to experience anything different during the months of October and November. It’s a part of who I am and who I’ve become. I find my own identity when I’m in the woods. I go there to deal with stress, heartache, love and loss. I sort through all of my feelings on an everyday basis. The most amazing part about it is that I do it alone. On occasion I will have company in the woods, but for the most part I sit and walk by myself. The silence is sometimes deafening and other times it’s more soothing than a good massage. It’s hard for me to explain to anyone who has never experienced it.

I spent a lot of time reading the last few days. About a month ago I picked up a book at the Authors’ Night celebration in  Long Lake. The book was written about a man from Brant Lake who became paralyzed during a logging accident. The title of the book is “just an accident.” I’ve been fortunate to meet him and have a few discussions with him since the night I bought the book and had him sign it.

I started reading the book yesterday and I should be done in the next few days. It brought a lot of feelings to the surface and made me consider some things that I’ve never thought very much about.

Sometimes we don’t realize how quickly our entire existence can change. It could happen overnight or it could happen in five hours, five minutes or five seconds. In the end we very rarely have little control over what happens to us. We all think if we did this or that things might be different, but whatever happens just happens.  We have to learn how to deal with the events that are sprung upon us without warning. That’s when we have to rely on our closest friends and family members.

It’s always easy to tell someone how we will react to a traumatic event, but none of us truly know until it happens to us. It’s easy to say one thing and mean it until we are actually faced with the reality of it.

That’s when the saying, “Only the strong survive” comes to the surface. People who see the glass has half full usually stand a better chance to succeed than the ones with a more pessimistic attitude. Sometimes we have to dig deep within our souls in order to find the strength to carry on. Yes, our family members and friends can help us, but in the end we are the ones who are solely responsible for what direction we go in. We can give in and let life consume us or we can get out there and make the most of the hand that is dealt to us. It’s our choice.

The day after you read this just sit back and listen to the people around you. I will bet you any amount of money that nobody can go through a day without listening to someone complain about something. Furthermore, I will bet that most people complain about things that are absolutely ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. We all like to play the sympathy role from time to time. We want people to feel sorry for us and give us attention. We’re all guilty of it.

We should all try something a little different for a few days. As we listen to everyone around us complain just sit back and think about all of the people who have real reasons to lash out. Almost always, those people accept their lives as they are and they move forward in search of some type of satisfaction and happiness. If you can, try to go through one complete day without complaining about anything. I know it seems easy, but give it a try. Lend your ear to another and extend your hand because you never know when you might require the same from them.

Just an accident could happen to any of us and rob us from the things that we find so easy to do today. Although it’s cliche try to live your life as if you were dying. Do the things you want to do, say the things that must be said and don’t wait. You never know when something traumatic might happen that could change your life or the lives of those around you. There’s really no sense in waiting, because tomorrow your life may never be the same as it is today.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and it has been a rocky road at times. When I step back and look at things from the outside, I realize that time is beginning to get away from me again, as it did in my early to mid 30s. I sensed it back then, but I wasn’t quite sure what was happening. It’s much different this time as I can feel it breathing down my neck and glaring into my eyes.

I took my first summer vacation last week since the years when I used to enjoy the time between semesters in college. Although I worked between semesters I still viewed it as a vacation. I’m glad my parents made me work. It taught me a lot about myself and it gave me the necessary tools I would need to survive on my own. It’s unfortunate that many parents aren’t able to give their children the right tools to live responsible lives when they become adults. These people never learn proper work ethics or the value of money. They aren’t motivated, yet they believe the world should revolve around them. They don’t see the difference between right or wrong or they simply don’t acknowledge it. They’ve been coddled since they were children and their parents gave them everything. It’s a shame to see these people try to survive in relationships when they become adults. They simply don’t have the skills, yet they attract the weak and strong alike. It’s like someone once told me, “Would you get behind the wheel if you didn’t have the skills to drive a car? Well, the same holds true for relationships. Would you get involved with someone who doesn’t have very good relationship skills?” I never thought about it much until recently and it makes an awful lot of sense now that I look at it. People who don’t have the proper skills don’t have the necessary tools to live life without becoming a hindrance to others. These type of people can drag people right under the bus with them. They don’t know any better.

A friend of mine sent me an email this morning, which saddened me when I read it. Here’s a part of it:

“WTF….I can’t sleep .. I woke up at 3:15 and haven’t been able to go back to sleep.   I can’t stop thinking!!! Ugh …. I am lonely .. I miss sleeping with someone. I hear a noise and get all paranoid and my adrenaline kicks in n I wonder if I could protect my children from an intruder.  I can’t stop crying ….. It feels as though a huge hole has been ripped through me and I dont know if I’m strong enough to heal it.  I lay in bed and hear the rain falling and the cars pass by and the dog snoring and it all just makes me feel so alone …….why have I made such poor choices that have led me to feel this way??  I’m tired …. So tired ….I don’t know if I am strong enough…….

Unfortunately there are so many people that feel this way and a few of them fall into the hole that appears. We all make bad choices. It’s who we are as people. If someone tells you they have never made a bad choice they’re not being honest. Many people will live with their bad choices and try to make things better rather than finding the strength to step back, take a look into the future and address how badly some of these choices will affect them. There are people out there who think they can “fix” their partners. They stay with the partner because it becomes a project to fix them. Before you know it time gets away from you and you realize that you can’t fix something that you didn’t create. It’s an ugly cycle that repeats over and over. You’re the only one that can save yourself instead of focusing so hard on saving the ones you love. If you stay you become lost and eventually fall into the same trap. You lose your self worth and your bad choices follow you around.

Today I watched a little bit of the Ellen show when I got home from work. Her life partner was on there with a new book that she just wrote. In the end of the interview she was talking about the positive attributes that Ellen brought to her life. I found a few of the things she said to be amazing. A few things she said reminded me very much of a close friend of mine and things  she has said in the past.

She said before she met Ellen she used to think that being tough and pretending nothing bothered her was all she ever needed. She didn’t think she ever needed anyone and she always kept people at a distance even the ones she loved. After she met Ellen and they became a couple she said she finally saw things that were beyond amazing. Ellen taught her that the best thing you can do is to be vulnerable and show your soft side. When you become vulnerable it opens up another door. She realized that you attract what you give out.

I always bust my friend’s chops about this because she always tries to be a tough guy. She hides her feelings and doesn’t let anyone close. She feels like it’s a safety blanket and if nobody can get close then she can’t get hurt. As Ellen’s partner said, she learned how much she missed out on when she lived that way. Now, she’s surrounded by a lot of love, support and happiness.  Unlike my friend, I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. It’s funny though because I only do it with certain people. I’ve left myself very vulnerable at times. Yes, I have been hurt but I’ve also experienced some things I never would have been able to if I had closed myself off.

I’ve been all over the map tonight so I don’t have a good way to end this. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here to write. My mind has been jammed lately and I’ve been lost deep in thought. All I can say is that you should always look out for yourself first and foremost. Don’t spend your life babysitting people that don’t have relationship skills. It will lead you to a very depressing, trying and unfulfilled life. If you come in contact with someone who wants to help you break free from hiding behind the tough guy image you should probably give it some serious thought. Ellen’s partner was extremely hesitant and unbelievably afraid, but in the end she said she found the most amazing person in the world just because she took a chance. The chance allowed her to trust someone else and show her soft side. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes which pertains to everything I’ve written about this evening. It reads, “Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.”

If you open yourself and become vulnerable you will most likely receive the same. That’s where the trust is formed and it only builds from there. Give it a chance. Get rid of the tough guy image…………..your heart will be much more brittle if it remains hard. As you love to lay your head on a soft pillow at night…..a soft heart can bring you into a totally different type of dream. A dream where birds sing first thing in the morning and the sun glitters on the leaves of the trees. Heck, unicorns might even jump over the rainbow once you get there or you might even be able to finally sit back and enjoy your new soft side that kept you from finding something has always seemed non-existent.

My eyes are heavy tonight. I’ve been averaging about six hours of sleep for about the last month. I don’t have a good reason why I’m not sleeping that much. It seems like the hands on the clock are sprinting around the dial and before I know it the hours are gone. I guess in some ways that’s how life goes as well.

I’ve often thought about things that have come up in my life that brought a new way of thinking along with them. Sometimes I just happened to get engulfed in unexpected events and other times I’ve had chance meetings give me a different outlook on things. No matter what the case may be, I’m sure that almost everyone out there can relate to what I’m talking about. I wonder if people are able to realize how much they change when something new pops up in their lives.

Last spring one of my good friends decided to buy a puppy. My friend has lived alone for about the last eight years. She went on a few dates here and there after she got divorced, but she has never welcomed anyone into her life. Instead, she put up an impenetrable wall that she hides behind. Sometimes I’m not even sure if she has ever seen what exists on the other side of the wall. She’s so afraid of opening up to anyone that she plods along and pretends that she doesn’t need anyone or want anyone. I can see beyond the front. There’s not a human being out there who doesn’t want to be loved by another person.

My friend stood people up, shut down emotionally and never let anyone inside. She got consumed in her work and let it control her life to an extent. Then, one day, out of the blue, she told me that she was going to get a dog. I kind of laughed to myself at first because I knew how rigid her schedule was. Everything was so regimented that I couldn’t see where a dog would fit too well into her life.

It has been about four months since she took her puppy home. She named him Kobe. He’s a cute little fella and he will always be little. The change I saw in her was amazing after she got her dog. One night she told me that she couldn’t believe how much she loved him and how much he brought into her life. She explained how she follows a schedule to make sure he eats on time and goes out to go to the bathroom. I can hear the joy in her voice when she’s talks about him.

When I see the way she acts with him I find it amazing that she leaves the wall up to everyone else. It seems that she has a lot of love to give, but refuses to follow through and make it happen. I’m not sure if she’s afraid or if she thinks that she’s not worthy of someone. It’s hard to tell and it’s really none of my business, but I sense a huge void in her life. It may be a void that she doesn’t even know exists, but it is there. It’s as visible to everyone around her just as the wall is that stands so high in front of her. I just hope that her little dog shows her the way, so that she can enjoy life again.

When I thought about the dog and how it has changed her perspective on a lot of things, I also thought about another friend of mine who has always been somewhat emotionally challenged. That is coming directly from her, not me.

She has always kept people at a distance, even the ones she loves. She told me it’s better that way because after you get hurt a few times there’s no reason to let your guard down and open yourself up to that possibility again. She never really wanted a child, but she ended up having one. A new person was born after her child was born. It was the person that she always tried not to be. The child pushed over the wall and allowed her to finally love unconditionally. I’ve seen a lot of interaction between the two of them and it’s simply amazing to observe.

It’s hard for me to imagine that this girl is the same person who puts a front up when other people come into her life, especially with the amount of love and attention she gives to her child. When I see the two of the them together it’s easy to see that she could share a wonderful relationship with the right person if she allows herself to take time, make good choices and find someone to compliment her personality.

At this day in age many of us get a second chance to make things right. Every ending is a new beginning. It’s a chance to improve upon what we’ve had and it’s a chance to find what we need. We need to accept people as they are, not what we want them to be. If we can remember that, over time, we can very easily be happy. Instead of focusing on the small things that bother us, we have to focus on the positive things that make us feel good. If we feel that the train is running off the track sometimes all it takes is a nice walk someplace in the peace and quiet or maybe even a short car ride that allows us to gaze over some majestic scenery.

I’ve written many times in the past about people having the ability to love their partners like they love their children or their pets. The experience that I’ve had over the last few months with both of my friends is simply awesome. My friend calls herself “emotionally challenged” but I firmly believe that her kid will help to bring that wall down. If she finds the right person and lets them inside her world and allows herself to love them just as she loves her kid, she will find herself in a special place. Since she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met I really do hope that it happens for her because she deserves it.

We have to remember that we get what we receive and we give what we get. If you love your children and give them a lot of attention they will learn from that and do the same when they become adults. The foundation that you lay as a parent goes well beyond the here and now. It becomes the model that your child will follow. While childhood is supposed to be one of the most wonderful times of our lives, far too many people spend the rest of their lives trying to recover from their childhood.

Since I have no clue about the childhood of either of my friends I do know that their own pet and child couldn’t have come at a better time. I almost can sense that both of them have found something that they didn’t know existed. They’ve both told me how much better they feel about themselves just because of what’s going in their lives.  It’s a joy to listen to the excitement when my friend talks about her child. I hope that one day she can talk the same way about her partner when she decides to head down that road again.

Kids and canines have an amazing ability to keep us grounded. They bring us back to the simple things. They show us how to love. They make us realize that life shouldn’t be so stressful. We should slow down, enjoy the moment and take everything one day at a time.

There are many days during the summer months when it’s hazy in the morning. Almost in the turn of a switch the haze is gone and the sun is shining. You can hear the birds chirping and a nice breeze blows through the treetops. It’s those simple things that we sometimes miss when we get too far ahead of ourselves. One foot goes in front of the other as we breathe in and breathe out. Enjoy each individual step instead of trying to enjoy the walk as a whole. You might be amazed where your feet will bring you if you allow them to carry you without any interference.